


Cookie Monster Gets a Hit

by thatbunty



Category: Sesame Street (TV)
Genre: Gen, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-06
Updated: 2019-09-06
Packaged: 2020-10-11 02:55:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20538986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatbunty/pseuds/thatbunty
Summary: Inspired by a pal asking about which Sesame Street characters would be easy to fight. I thought Cookie Monster could be psyched out, and this is what my brain blurted out.I'm not really a writer, so don't be a dick, k? K.





	Cookie Monster Gets a Hit

Cookie Monster swung wildly at Bunty, the long, shaggy fur of his arms streaking through the air. "ME FUCK YOU UP! LIKE ME FUCK UP GORDON WHEN HE TELL ME NO MORE COOKIES!"  
Bunty staggered backwards, desperately trying to think of a better strategy than tiring him out. She was hardly fit herself. "Of course!" she thought to herself. "That's it!"  
"Hey! Hey Cookie Monster!" she called from behind him as she ran under a punch. She stumbled onto some trash cans and pushed one in front of him to create some distance, for a moment at least. "We're burning a lot of energy here. All this movement, all this adrenaline. I don't know about you but I'm getting pretty hungry. I could really use a snack!"  
Cookie kept circling her, still throwing punches but distractedly now, without the urgency, automatically, as though that was just what he always did with his arms.  
"COOKIE IS GOOD SNACK" he declared, although whether it was to himself or to Bunty wasn't clear.  
"Cookie /is/ good snack." she agreed. "I think I saw some broken cookies in the trash can, y'know the ones from the bakery, the double chocolate ones?" She nodded over to the spilled can. "Want me to get them for you?"  
Cookie Monster held his head in his hands. He felt himself salivating, felt the blood rushing to his head in anticipation of a hit. He sure as shit wasn't going to share with her. He pulled back his arm in order to punch her, but he hesitated, and let it drop to his side. He knew he should wait until this was over, but the call of the confections was like a siren's song. He know he could run faster than her, and if she did outrun him he knew where to find her. He couldn't resist any longer. The words burst out of his mouth. "ME GET COOKIES!"  
She nodded gently, watching as he shoved his head into the garbage can. She allowed herself a brief smirk as she quickly but quietly moved over to a pile of rubbish.  
"Come on," she pleaded silently with the Universe "please, give me something good!" A metallic glimmer caught her eye. She pulled the silver shaft sticking out of the bottom of the pile to reveal a golf club, the business end of which had been snapped off leaving a sharp edge to the metal. "Thank you Universe!" she exclaimed in her head.  
Her attention snapped back to the Cookie Monster who was grunting and starting to flail his legs. "ME STUCK! ARRRGH! ME NO FIND ANY COOKIEEEES!" he bellowed as he started to thrash himself about, partly in rage, partly in a bid to free himself from his stinking aluminium prison.  
She quickly walked back over to the Cookie Monster "Ok, I can help you, I can get you out but you need to be still, ok? Then I'll find you the cookies, you can have all of them, I promise. Just stay still and I'll push the can off of your head."  
The Cookie Monster screeched with anger and frustration through gritted teeth, then slowed his body to a stop.  
Bunty positioned herself over him, her legs either side of his. He was laid on his belly. "Perfect." she thought. She held the broken golf club in both hands, poised above him, ready to strike. Her heart started beating even faster than it had been, and she felt her stomach lurch. She tried not to think about how things were in the beginning, but her mind betrayed her. She thought about how he had been so sweet, and so kind, how close their friendship had been. But she couldn't think about that without thinking how she'd seen him change for the worse. How his addiction had taken over. How much it felt like he had died years ago. This wasn't the Cookie Monster she knew and loved. He never would've done the awful, criminal, morally despicable things the mess that lay in front of her now had done. And God knows she had tried to help him - they all had. Bert and Ernie had loved him like a son, and even they couldn't make a difference. She closed her eyes and squeezed them shut. She gripped the golf club harder and brought it down into the back of his chest. An almighty scream erupted from the Cookie Monster, but the trash can only seemed to amplify and direct the sound to her instead of muffling it. Bunty fell back off of him, onto the ground. He thrashed and threw himself wildly about, trying desperately to reach his pinned arms back to pull out the shank, but to no avail.  
Bunty felt a pang of guilt at his suffering, although it wasn't without cause as far as she was concerned. Still, she wished so badly it hadn't come to this. She reached forward and grabbed the golf club, pulled it out from his flesh, the resistance of the muscles made it feel as though she was pulling a spoon through oobleck. He threw his head back, still encased in metal, and let out a long, anguished scream that filled Bunty's ears and burned into her soul. She grimaced as his poppy red blood splattered hot across her face. Blood oozed quickly from the wound, and he soon stopped convulsing and began to shiver and shudder instead, soft whimpers echoed inside the trash can. She sat, ashen faced and with a blank expression for several minutes after his shallow breathing and shaking had stopped. She reached her fingers through his thick, dense fur and found the pulse point on his wrist. Nothing. He was gone. Her face crumpled and tears streamed anew. She lay her head on his limp, lifeless arm and sobbed until her sobs turned to hiccups. She didn't know how much time had passed, and it suddenly occurred to her that she needed to get away from there. She pulled herself, shaking and unsteady, up to her feet, wiping the tears and snot onto her sleeve. She turned and walked past his corpse, then before she realised she was doing it, she stumbled back over to him entangled her fingers in the fur of his leg and pulled. She stuffed the bright blue fibers into her pocket, rubbing the soft strands in her fingers as she stumbled out of the alleyway and into the deserted street.


End file.
